Something is keeping me occupied and restless this days.
It's not like I don't like anything about the things I have right now - in fact I do. I do enjoy working, living away from home, research, late-nighters, company of friends, Uno and chit-chatting, reading, listening to songs, net-surfing, experimenting with cooking, driving.....and? and, that's it. That's all my life is right now! Practically that's what it was 3 years back, (except for driving) and that's what it is right now! An unknown pain in disguise of dissatisfaction keeps me awake day and night, defocuses me, curses me with it's flow of emotions and emotionlessness, inconsistent patch ups here and there are replacing my integrity everywhere.
What's wrong with me?
I am not satisfied when I am working, not enjoying when I am with friends, unmindful in meetings, restless in bed and lonely in the middle of gang of people having fun, I'm affected by small small crap which I never use to even notice before. I walk alone in rains without writing a line (which is, knowing myself, very not myself-like), I gaze at nothingness without a droplet in my eyes, watch melodrama and feel sad (yuck! that wasn't me, ever before), make up and break up without giving much into it, work without passion and rest without peace - stare at sky in vain for hours.
What's wrong with me?
At the end of the day, I don't see myself in the mirror, the shadow of an unknown crunch is occupying me from within and my mirror refuses to show me it's real color. I just see a girl, with dead eyes. That's not me for sure.
What's wrong with me?
It's not like I don't like anything about the things I have right now - in fact I do. I do enjoy working, living away from home, research, late-nighters, company of friends, Uno and chit-chatting, reading, listening to songs, net-surfing, experimenting with cooking, driving.....and? and, that's it. That's all my life is right now! Practically that's what it was 3 years back, (except for driving) and that's what it is right now! An unknown pain in disguise of dissatisfaction keeps me awake day and night, defocuses me, curses me with it's flow of emotions and emotionlessness, inconsistent patch ups here and there are replacing my integrity everywhere.
What's wrong with me?
I am not satisfied when I am working, not enjoying when I am with friends, unmindful in meetings, restless in bed and lonely in the middle of gang of people having fun, I'm affected by small small crap which I never use to even notice before. I walk alone in rains without writing a line (which is, knowing myself, very not myself-like), I gaze at nothingness without a droplet in my eyes, watch melodrama and feel sad (yuck! that wasn't me, ever before), make up and break up without giving much into it, work without passion and rest without peace - stare at sky in vain for hours.
What's wrong with me?
At the end of the day, I don't see myself in the mirror, the shadow of an unknown crunch is occupying me from within and my mirror refuses to show me it's real color. I just see a girl, with dead eyes. That's not me for sure.
What's wrong with me?
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